戈尔曼提高情商的三个问题

要想提高自己的情商（EI），你需要知道自己的努力重点在哪里，并了解如何在实际层面上提高这些技能，以及你想要达到的目标。然后，你就可以在这些方面积极养成习惯。仅仅从概念上理解这些领域是不够的。
根据戈尔曼和内瓦雷兹的观点，要提高情商，你应该从问自己以下三个问题开始：

1.我对自己的看法与他人对我的看法有何不同？

这个问题旨在确定自我认知（你如何看待自己）和声誉（他人如何看待你）之间的差异。
为了更好地了解自我认知与声誉之间的差距，您应该使用 360 度反馈评估，该评估会考虑 EI 的多个方面。
另一种从外部了解自己的行为如何影响人际关系和工作的方法是与教练合作。

2 什么是重要的？

当您从评估或教练那里得到反馈时，请利用它来确定您想要改进的方面。但同时也要考虑你的目标是什么--你想如何在现在的工作中做得更好，以及你将来想去哪里。了解你目前的情商习惯对你的目标的影响，将有助于你长期保持在加强情商的轨道上。

3.为了实现这些目标，你将尝试做出哪些改变？

一旦你决定了要专注于哪种情商技能，就要想清楚你将采取哪些具体行动。 例如，如果你正在努力成为一个更好的倾听者，你可能会决定，当你与别人交谈时，你要花一点时间停顿一下，倾听他们在说什么，并确保你在回答之前理解了他们的意思。要有针对性--这将有助于你改变目标习惯。
改变那些不利于你的旧习惯，取而代之的是经过改进的新习惯。

资料来源 Goleman, D. and Nevarez, M., 2018, “Boost your emotional intelligence with these three questions”, HBR August 2018 issue.

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Goleman's 3 questions to increase your emotional intelligence

To improve your emotional intelligence (EI), you need to know where to focus your efforts and understand how to improve these skills on a practical level, along with what you want to achieve.
Then you can actively create habits in those areas. It's not enough to simply have a conceptual understanding of the area.
According to Goleman and Nevarez, to increase your emotional intelligence, you should start by asking yourself these three questions

1. What is the difference between how I see myself and how others see me?

This question is meant to identify how self-perception (how you see yourself) and reputation (how others see you) differ.
To best understand the gap between self-perception and reputation, you should use a 360-degree feedback assessment that considers multiple aspects of EI.
Another way to get an outside perspective on how your behavior impacts your relationships and work is to work with a coach.

2. What's important?

When you get feedback from an assessment or a coach, use it to identify areas you want to improve. But also consider what your goals are - how you want to get better at what you do now and where you want to go in the future. Understanding the impact of your current EI habits in relation to your goals will help you stay on track to strengthen your emotional intelligence for the long term.

3. What changes will you try to make to achieve these goals?

Once you've decided which EI skill you want to focus on, figure out what specific actions you'll take. For example, if you're working on becoming a better listener, you might decide that when you're talking to someone, you'll take a moment to pause, listen to what they're saying, and make sure you understand them before replying. Be specific - this will help you change your target habit.
Change old habits that don't serve you, and replace them with new and improved ones that do.

Sources: Goleman, D. and Nevarez, M., 2018, “Boost your emotional intelligence with these three questions”, HBR August 2018 issue.